There is a place in our being, in the spiritual realm of our humanity, where our conscience collides with our expectations. It is a place where the light coming into our hearts, illuminated by the Holy Spirit, shows us the highest standard of what God has in mind for our lives. It isn’t a clear vision; it is more like a bright dense fog in which only the very next steps of our journey are bright enough to be undertaken, and even that is only shown to us when we ask God for it.
Standing in my kitchen, cleaning up, my soul said “Lord, make me stronger…please.” I felt an instant answer resound as to say “If I do so, you will not stay close to Me.” Thinking for a minute, as if my prayer was on its own course, my response was akin to “Well then. Be in me always so as to give me Your own strength.”
A day later, a friend posted this reflection from St Teresa of Calcutta, from “No Greater Love”;
I don’t think there is anyone who needs God’s help and graces as much as I do. Sometimes I feel so helpless and weak. I think that is why God uses me. Because I cannot depend on my own strength, I rely on Him twenty-four hours a day. If the day had even more hours, then I would need His help and grace during those hours as well. All of us must cling to God through prayer.
Things get really hard in this life when we are in too much control. A little chaos breathes into us the need for something bigger than ourselves. Some may call it order, and in a sense it is. It is the order of Creator to His creature. Be still, little creature; know that He is your Lord.